Gay Realities 101

Being tagged or identified as gay is still horrible and unacceptable to some. The political correctness in defining a "gay" man can raise the eyebrows of most bisexuals not allowing themselves to be tagged as GAY.

Our elders tell us...

1. Do you realize that being gay will lead to you to melancholy eventually?

2. Are you ready to grow old being single as a dirty old gay?

3. Do you risk yourself of acquiring sexually transmitted diseases since the perception of being gay is equals to multiple sex partners?

4. Aren't you afraid of growing old alone in your death bed?

5. Yes you can a fool a woman that you're not gay since you act manly. But is that the real you?

6. Aren't you scared that even though you are respected in your own endeavor but still you are called gay?

7. When will you stop sneaking in my dresser to borrow my make-up or my accessories or worse even my underwear?

8. When will you stop drooling at those straight guys passing by?

9. If you choose being gay for the rest of your life then get ready to be sad most of the time!

10. The happiness that you have right now is alright because you are still young. What if you grow old and lose your beauty?

11. Are you ready to face the grilling questions of your Dad, your friends and relatives?

12. You see your straight friends raising their own families and are you contented of being a godfather most of the time?

13. Are you sick?

14. You think your current boyfriend wont leave you for another man?

15. Why did you become gay? Your father's generation is a generation of studs, soldiers and servicemen.

16. Why do I see most of the time guys visiting you in your apartment and your door is always locked?

17. Why don't I get to see you along with girls locked in your room?

18. When are those boys going to stop calling you?

19. How come I don't see you entangled with a girl?

20. Why do you always come home late having a manly powdery scent?

21. I think the underwear I found under your bed is not yours!

22. How come I found Playgirl magazines in your closet?

23. What is that KY/Petroleum jelly for?

24. How come that whenever we are together you take much of your time inside a men's room?

25. What are those higher generation antibiotics doing in your drawer?

26. How come that your room looks so feminine?

27. Why does the wall paper of your desktop shows muscled men in skimpy undies?

28. Who's that handsome guy I saw you with an hour ago?

29. Why are you visiting the gym daily?

30. Are you GAY??? WTF!!!

Questions like these are indeed traumatic to most of us. Sometimes when we are alone after a sex bout, we are back into a reality of sadness. An emptiness starts to hound us. We ask ourselves sometimes... why we became like this? Why am I different?

We may be successful in our fields but others just can't simply FULLY ACCEPT the way we are.

So what do we do then? Get busy? For how long? Adopt a child? Is that the solution? Marry a girl? Just make sure you fuck her most of the time and not some guy in your neighborhood. Become a priest? Or join some religious congregation? what for? Be religious enough? I hope so.

We can't escape our situation just like that.

So how do we end this?

Your answer is as good as mine.

Understanding and Knowing Your Stalker

We hear this word from time to time. We even crack jokes among our friends. But stalking someone can cause a serious problem to a person's privacy and can lead you to jail. Let's take a look at the definition first:

The term "stalking" is more commonly used to describe specific kinds of behavior directed at a particular person, such as harassing or threatening another person. But the variety of specific strategies employed and behaviors displayed by stalkers are limited only by the creativity and ingenuity of the stalkers themselves. Suffice it to say, virtually any unwanted contact between a stalker and their victim which directly or indirectly communicates a threat or places the victim in fear can generally be referred to as stalking.

Fine. You could be the nicest and most trusting person here on earth. Your being "kind" suddenly brings you into trouble.

The following are the usual habits of a gay stalker, and you may classify yourself if you are one of them:

1. They will ask for your email addresses. They may start asking for your chat messengers and nicks but without you knowing they use that in Googling you.

2. They will take note of every word you say or type in the chat box. Crucial information such as your present employment, company information, school you graduated, your area of residence, provinces, and others.

3. They will ask for your contact numbers, be it cell phones, land line, office numbers.

4. They will ask for your face pictures, or ask you to show yourself on your web cam. Get ready to be recorded or saved.

5. They will bug you 24/7 once they get to know your crucial information.

6. They will try their best to do research about you, even call your friends, ex boy friend/lover family or relatives just to be with you to extract information.

7. They MIGHT steal some of your personal things (even your underwear) to satisfy their cravings for you.

8. They will walk along your path, trace everything even your personal interests and favorites.

9. They are willing to spend to lure you or court you no matter the price tag is.

10. They will remember EVERYTHING about you even your pet's name just to impress you.

Criminal Behind Bars wrote:

Is Stalking a New Phenomenon?

No -- the history of stalking behavior is as old as the history of human relationships. Stalking has always been with us -- what is new is that, until recently, it was never labeled as a separate and distinct class of deviant behavior. Prior to its common usage and its subsequent designation as a crime, stalking was referred to as harassment, annoyance or, in some cases, simply as domestic violence.

In the late 1980s and early 1990s, numerous high-profile cases involving celebrities began to catch the attention of the media and public policy leaders. Only then did such behavior begin to be described as "stalking."

Since then, stalking has become a common subject in the popular media. With the advent of blockbuster films -- such as Fatal Attraction, Cape Fear, and Sleeping with the Enemy -- and its coverage by the news media, "stalking" has become a household word.

Who Are Stalkers?

Demographically:

Stalking is a gender neutral crime, with both male and female perpetrators and victims. How-ever, most stalkers are men. Best statistics indicate that 75-80 percent (75-80%) of all stalking cases involve men stalking women. Most tend to fall into the young to middle-aged categories. Most have above-average intelligence. Stalkers come from every walk of life and every socio-economic background. Virtually anyone can be a stalker, just as anyone can be a stalking victim.

Psychological and Behavioral Profile of Stalkers:

Unfortunately, there is no single psychological or behavioral profile for stalkers. In fact, many experts believe that every stalker is different, making it very difficult not only to categorize their behavior, but doubly difficult to devise effective strategies to cope with such behavior.

Forensic psychologists, who study criminal behavior, are just beginning to examine the minds and motives of stalkers. These psychologists have identified two broad categories of stalkers and stalking behavior -- "Love Obsession" and "Simple Obsession."

Love Obsession Stalkers

This category is characterized by stalkers who develop a love obsession or fixation on another person with whom they have no personal relationship. The target may be only a casual acquaintance or even a complete stranger. This category represents about 20-25 percent (20-25%) of all stalking cases.

Stalkers who stalk celebrities and stars -- such as David Letterman, Jodie Foster, and Madonna -- fall into the category of love obsessionists; however, stalkers in this category also include those who develop fixations on regular, ordinary people -- including co-workers, their aerobics instructor, casual acquaintances or people they pass in the street.

The vast majority of love obsessional stalkers suffer from a mental disorder -- often schizophrenia or paranoia. Regardless of the specific disorder, nearly all display some delusional thought patterns and behaviors. Since most are unable to develop normal personal relationships through more conventional and socially acceptable means, they retreat to a life of fantasy relationships with persons they hardly know, if at all. They invent fictional stories -- complete with what is to them real-life scripts -- which cast their unwilling victims in the lead role as their own love interest. They then attempt to act out their fictional plots in the real world.

The woman who has stalked David Letterman for five years truly believes she is his wife. She has been discovered on Mr. Letterman's property numerous times, has been arrested driving his car and has even appeared at his residence with her own child in tow -- each time insisting that she is David Letterman's wife.

Love obsessional stalkers not only attempt to live out their fantasies, but expect their victims to play their assigned roles as well. They believe they can make the object of their affection love them. They desperately want to establish a positive personal relationship with their victim. When the victim refuses to follow the script or doesn't respond as the stalker hopes, they may attempt to force the victim to comply by use of threats and intimidation.

When threats and intimidation fail, some stalkers turn to violence. Some decide that if they cannot be a positive part of their victim's life, they will be part of their life in a negative way. Some even go so far as to murder their victims in a twisted attempt to romantically link themselves to their victim forever. This was the case with the man who shot and killed Rebecca Schaffer, the young actress and star of the television show My Sister Sam.

Simple Obsession Stalkers

This second category represents 70-80 percent (70-80%) of all stalking cases and is distinguished by the fact that some previous personal or romantic relationship existed between the stalker and the victim before the stalking behavior began.

Virtually all domestic violence cases involving stalking fall under this rubric, as do casual dating relationships (commonly referred to as Fatal Attraction cases, named after the popular movie by the same title).

While this kind of stalker may or may not have psychological disorders, all clearly have personality disorders. One forensic psychologist has attempted to identify some of the common personality traits and behavioral characteristics among this category of stalkers. Stalkers in this class are characterized as individuals who are:

    * Socially maladjusted and inept;
    * Emotionally immature;
    * Often subject to feelings of powerlessness;
    * Unable to succeed in relationships by socially-acceptable means;
    * Jealous, bordering on paranoid; and
    * Extremely insecure about themselves and suffering from low self-esteem.

The self-esteem of simple obsession stalkers is often closely tied to their relationship with their partner. In many cases, such stalkers bolster their own self-esteem by dominating and intimidating their mates. Exercising power over another gives them some sense of power in a world where they otherwise feel powerless. In extreme cases, such personalities attempt to control every aspect of their partner's life. This behavior pat-tern was vividly depicted in the major motion picture entitled Sleeping with the Enemy, where the antagonist turns to intimidation and violence as the means to control every aspect of his victim/wife's life.

Since the victim literally becomes the stalker's primary source of self-esteem, their greatest fear becomes the loss of this person. Their own self-worth is so closely tied to the victim that when they are deprived of that person, they may feel that their own life is without worth.

It is exactly this dynamic that makes simple obsession stalkers so dangerous. In the most acute cases, such stalkers will literally stop at nothing to regain their "lost possession" -- their partner -- and in so doing, regain their lost self-esteem.

Just as with most domestic violence cases, stalkers are the most dangerous when they are first deprived of their source of power and self-esteem; in other words, the time when their victims determine to physically remove themselves from the offender's presence on a permanent basis by leaving the relationship.

Indeed, stalking cases which emerge from domestic violence situations constitute the most common and potentially lethal class of stalking cases. Domestic violence victims who leave an abusive relationship run a 75 percent (75%) higher risk of being murdered by their partners.

Stalking behavior is as diverse as the stalkers themselves. Yet behavioral experts are beginning to identify patterns in the cycle of violence displayed by simple obsession stalkers.

Stalking Behavior Patterns and Cycles:

Stalking behavior patterns closely mirror those common in many domestic violence cases. The pattern is usually triggered when the stalker's advances toward their victim is frustrated -- regardless of whether the stalker is seeking to establish a personal relationship or continue a previously established relationship contrary to the wishes of the victim.

The stalker may attempt to woo their victim into a relationship by sending flowers, candy and love letters, in an attempt to "prove their love." However, when the victim spurns their unwelcome advances, the stalker often turns to intimidation. Such attempts at intimidation often begin in the form of an unjustified, jealous and inappropriate intrusion into the victim's life. Often these contacts become more numerous and intrusive over time, until such collective conduct becomes a persistent pattern of harassment. Many times, harassing behavior escalates to threatening behavior. Such threats may be direct or indirect and communicated explicitly or implicitly by the stalker's conduct. Unfortunately, cases that reach this level of seriousness too often end in violence and/or murder.

Stalkers, unable to establish or re-establish a relationship of power and control over their victims, turn to violence as a means of reasserting their domination over the victim. In some cases, offenders are even willing to kill their victims and themselves in a last, desperate attempt to assert their domination over the victim.

The evolution of the stalker's thought pattern progresses from, "If I can just prove to you how much I love you," to "I can make you love me," to "If I can't have you, nobody else will."

While this progression in behavior is common, no stalking case is completely predictable. Some stalkers may never escalate past the first stage. Others jump from the first stage to the last stage with little warning. Still others regress to previous stages before advancing to the next. It is not uncommon to see stalkers intersperse episodes of threats and violence with flowers and love letters.

As difficult as it is to predict what a stalker might do, it is at least as difficult to predict when he might do it. A few stalkers will progress to later stages in only a few weeks or even days. In other cases, stalkers who have engaged in some of the most serious stalking behaviors may go months or even years without attempting a subsequent contact.

It is this unpredictability that makes developing an effective response strategy so difficult in any particular stalking case.

So... Can I get your number? ;-)

Wanna Act Discreet? The Final Appeal... (Philippine Setting)

I get dismayed when gay guys declare on their profiles that they want and prefer sex eye balls that are as DISCREET like them as well. FUCK!!! My blood pressure is rising since most of them are SOOOOO STUPID!

Let's take a look at the definition of the word discreet:

Pronunciation: \dis-ˈkrēt, ˈdis-ˌ\
Function: adjective
Etymology: Middle English, from Latin discretus

1.  : constituting a separate entity : individually distinct

2.  : consisting of distinct or unconnected elements : noncontinuous


FOR THE LAST TIME HERE ARE TIPS FOR YOU HARD HEADED GAY GUYS...

DO NOT...

1. Post pictures that you appear so girlie, but then again, I can see and sense from the picture alone if you're lying on your poses. Your eyebrows can't lie, your outfits can't lie, your choice of colors can't lie, your hair colors can't lie, your accessories can't lie, your choice of words can't lie, your poses can't lie. YOU STILL LOOK SO BAKLA!

2. Pretend that you are indeed viewed as very discreet even if you are posed half-naked showing your abs or your rippling muscles. With just one look at your pictures I can really tell that you are a screaming fag when I see you in person!

3. Declare that you are indeed discreet since the tasting of the pudding is in the eating. Get ready to be rejected abruptly in case.

4. Post pictures taken 5 years or 10  years ago. This is just an act of foolishness that will just bounce back to you.

5. Write on your profiles things that are incongruent with your claims. You want a discreet sex partner yet the colors of your profile are ranging from pastels to rainbows.

6. Use your main profile pic as if you are a Greek god when it's not you. Pretenders are automatically cursed.

7. Claim that you are handsome nor cute when in FACT YOU AREN'T!

8. Try hard selling yourself when you are not physically marketable. I appreciate honest and humble guys without lifting their own rusted chairs, yet full of surprises once you get to know them. 

9. Post on your profile things that you do not know or capable just to impress other people.

10. LIE, BE A POSER, PRETEND. So what if your body ain't buff? Or you have an average look? BE THE REAL YOU AS LONG AS YOU HAVE A GOOD HEART AND COMPASSIONATE. BUT STILL WAG KA KASI MASYADONG BADING NA BADING, sincè here in the Philippines, the effeminates don't have much room for the so-called discreet preferences of gay guys in here. Kapag halata ka you have less chances of winning a dick. The effems of the Philippines are usually attractive for foreigners. But still, those who are trying hard to be discreet cannot pass rigid eyes like mine! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. EVEN ON PROFILE PICS!